if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case
420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through
Remember when there was a 7 mile spanking machine on spongebob and no one said anything about it ever
bring me the booty
omg they are so offended if you lick them back.
Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.
i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.
I have reblogged this like ten times
My cat grooms me. What does that mean?
It means your cat thinks your style is wack and is trying to help
list of states that don’t exist:
north & south dakota
i have never seen anyone fuck up this masterfully
It took me 18 years to realise Saturday has turd in it
"I coulda dropped my croissant"
THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE VINE
when the screen goes dark and u see ur reflection